Recently, I had the privilege of sitting down with Ellen, better known as Mentor Mama, from Coffee and Bible Time.
If you haven’t checked out CB&T, then you are truly missing out on a blessing. College students, Ashley and Taylor, along with their mama, Ellen, use their platforms to inspire people to delight in God’s Word and in Christ through YouTube videos, Bible studies, Prayer Journals, and more!
Please go take a look here:
https://www.coffeeandbibletime.com/
You can watch my interview with Ellen here:
I think the main theme of my chat on the Coffee and Bible Time podcast was that sometimes the mountain doesn’t move. I know for me, it didn’t.
I was shocked, but not shaken when one day, ten years ago, my husband called me into our bedroom and spoke two words to me that seemed to instantly cancel the two he’d spoken to me seventeen years earlier at the altar. This time, those two words were, “I’m done.” And just like he was gone.
My friend gave me the best advice that I’ve ever received. She spoke two words to me that seemed to be the antidote for the ones I’d just heard. She simply said, “Read Psalms.”
Like a sick person following a prescription, I followed her advice to the letter. I read the Psalms, wrote them, memorized them, and on especially lonely nights slept with them under my head like a pillow.
It was then that something miraculous happened. I fell in love with Jesus. He spoke to me so sweetly through His Word. He encouraged me and let me know that He was right there. I’ll never forget the day that I looked down and saw my hand had turned blue. I’d clutched it so tightly as I recited Isaiah 41:10 over and over.
“Fear not, I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10. ESV
That day, I was sitting in a courtroom alone, but not alone, as the divorce my husband wanted was granted. I knew that God was with me. I felt His presence and strength that day and every day since.
Through the years that followed, I fasted and prayed persistently, but God just didn’t seem to want to move my mountain. One day, mid-fast, God stopped me and said, “I will do what I will do.” I ended my fast that very moment. I knew that God was in control and though He could, it was up to Him if He would. And that was okay. I surrendered the reins to His capable and loving hands.
I continued to pray and I really never believed that God wouldn’t answer my prayer at some time or another. I had faith much larger than the mustard seed variety. When God didn’t choose to answer my prayer for my husband to come back and I heard the news he was remarrying seven years later, I was shocked. It felt like a betrayal; like I’d been abandoned again. I wanted to take my heart back from Him. I didn’t want to feel like this again. Then, slowly as His Words sank back into my mind; the ones He’d been whispering over and over for the time when this moment came, I realized I could trust Him. He knew what was good for me better than I did.
As I relinquished the control that I wanted desperately to cling to and free fell back into His arms, the climb around that fixed mountain, hand in hand, began. Relinquish and resolve didn’t make it hurt any less, however. But as I read the Bible and spent time with Him, I began to see more clearly how He would use the apex of that mountain He didn’t move as an arrow pointing to Himself. I trusted that He had purposes bigger than what I could see. I came to believe that He would use the ashes to make beautiful things that would bring glory to Himself and fulfilment to the longings of my soul.
Though your mountain may not move, rest assured that God will walk with you around it; holding your hand all along the journey. You’ll see Him like never before; experience Him like you didn’t know possible. He will become your best friend. He will be everything to you. He will be enough. He will fill every crevice of your longings. He will accept you and His acceptance is all that will matter. You’ll come to feel lucky that you get to have this intimate relationship with Him – to know Him as a husband to the husbandless; a friend to the friendless; a comforter to the dying, etc.
He will hold your heart in His tender hands and you can trust Him when He tells you to hold it out once again and reach people who need to know who He is and find true peace and rest in Him alone.
There are no substitutes for this kind of feeling. There are many who want to put substances, other people, and pleasure in His place. But those things are counterfeit and you deserve more than copies of what the One true and only God alone can be for you.
Still your fears. Quiet your mind. Sit with your Bible and soak it in. Be present with Him so that you can feel His presence. He will make Himself real to you. He will be your comforter, help, strength, and guide. He will be everything you need and everything to you. He is enough!